Generation LMNOP : Episode 11 : Series Finale

Completed as of April 22nd, 2004
            TEASER

EXT. MIDUS HOME -- MORNING

MIDUS is exiting his house, backpack over his shoulder. 
Jackson joins him, like usual. He's humming a little diddy.

       MIDUS
          Oh God. I've got that safety dance 
          song in my head.

Jackson pulls out a large stick and starts beating Midus 
with it. After a long beating, Jackson stops.

       JACKSON
          Is it gone yet?

Midus weakly raises his hand up into frame.

       MIDUS
          No...

Jackson continues his onslaught.

        END OF TEASER
 
----------------------------------------------------------
             2.


           ACT ONE

INT. MIDUS HOME -- NIGHT

MIDUS is surrounded by his family, handing gifts to his 
parents. A train set and Christmas tree, the works surround 
him. The tree lights up, all that stuff. Midus opens a 
present, and it's a large box, that says "If you can't lift 
this box, it's too heavy." Midus goes to lift, and can't. He 
then sees the notice, and rolls his eyes.

INT. VAL'S HOME -- NIGHT

She sits around, on the floor as her parents are above her 
shoulder. A younger sister resides next to her, as they seem 
to be watching Lawrence Welk. Her father makes some sort of 
joke, which Val rolls her eyes to.

INT. NICOLE'S HOME -- NIGHT

She's home, eating dinner with her family. Something happens 
to make her roll her eyes. Duh.

INT. JACKSON'S HOME -- NIGHT

JACKSON is sitting in a mess of a house, a delipidated tree 
in the corner, as a tumbleweed passes by. He stares, hand 
raised in confusion, and he rolls his eyes as well.

INT. SCHOOL HALLWAYS -- DAY

VAL is opening her locker, as NICOLE comes into frame with a 
present.

       VAL
          Well, a merry new year and a happy 
          Christmas to you too.

       NICOLE
          Open it!

       VAL
          Did you spend the money you got for 
          a Christmas gift, on this Christmas 
          gift?

       NICOLE
          Circle of life. Open it!

JACKSON appears, as Val pulls out a present and hands it to 
Nicole. Jackson's intrigued.

       VAL
          I got you one too.

       JACKSON
          What's going on here?

----------------------------------------------------------
             3.


       NICOLE
          We're exchanging Christmas gifts. I 
          got one for you too Jackson.

       VAL
          Do you have a gift for us?

       JACKSON
          Yes. I do. It's called my presence. 
          Enjoy it. Bask in it. Bathe in it 
          like you would a shower.
(pause)
          I'm serious. Get naked.

They laugh a bit, and open their gifts. That's when they 
walk over to Nicole's locker, where Midus already is, opening 
his locker. And when he does, he pulls out two gifts and 
hands them to both Val and Nicole.

       MIDUS
          Awh-shan-tay.

       JACKSON
          What's that even mean.

       NICOLE
          You didn't get anything for Jackson?

       MIDUS
          What? And ruin a completely true 
          American stereotype of guys not 
          remembering special occassions?

       JACKSON
          She must not think things through.

Midus pulls out a gift from his locker, as Jackson pulls 
something out of his backpack. They open it, while, Val and 
Nicole do their thing. Midus pulls out a watch, and Jackson 
grabs sunglasses.

       JACKSON (CONT'D)
          I sold my eyes to buy you a watch!

       MIDUS
          And I sold my arms to buy you 
          sunglasses! Oh, what a horrid twist 
          of events. OH IRONY, HOW YOU MOCK 
          THEE!

Midus laughs, Jackson doesn't.

       JACKSON
          Dude, I wasn't joking. I really sold 
          my arms to this scientist guy every 
          Saturday for government testing...

----------------------------------------------------------
             4.


       MIDUS
          You... really sold your eyes?

       JACKSON
          Yeah. They'll buy anything. Hey! 
          Wait a minute! You lied! You still 
          HAVE both your arms!

       MIDUS
          They didn't take your brain as well, 
          did they?

       JACKSON
          Not to my... hey! That's another 
          joke! You and your slyness Midus. I 
          don't like it. I don't like it at 
          all!

       VAL
          Hey Jackson, here's your gift.

Jackson is handed a gift, and he unwraps. It's a puppet, 
which he promptly tosses in the air and dives for cover.

       MIDUS
          That never gets old.

       VAL
          Now I know why people say it's better 
          to give than receive.

       JACKSON
          Is it touching me? I think it's 
          touching me! Get it off! It's touching 
          me!

INT. SCIENCE CLASS -- DAY

MIDUS, VAL, JACKSON, and NICOLE all head in. The bell rings. 
PROFESSOR INATION is there.

       PROFESSOR INATION
          Okay class. With Winter break done 
          and finished, we've got something 
          else to tend to. And that's finals. 
          You see, at the end of the semester, 
          the school has this procedure about 
          tests, which gauge how much of the 
          information you've truly absorbed.

       JACKSON
(Raising hand)
          But we can fake it, right? Just 
          memorize the information and forget 
          it when the test is over?

       PROFESSOR INATION
          I don't think that's very wise.

----------------------------------------------------------
             5.


       MIDUS
          You've been with Jackson all semester 
          and you're wasting breath on telling 
          him that his evil scheme is stupid?

       JACKSON
          What's evil about memorization!

       MIDUS
          I see you've never been on the classic 
          game show.

INT. GAME SHOW -- AFTERNOON

MIDUS is a contestant, as is some random girl.

       MIDUS
          I can solve the puzzle!

Cut to a puzzle, which basically reads "Raise the demon from 
beyond," in Classic Concentration style. D+Jamacian man is 
demon.

       MIDUS (CONT'D)
          Raise the Demon from beyond.

And that's when the ground cracks, and out walks Steve and 
Boneking. The crowd screams, as Steve eats the game show 
host.

       MIDUS (CONT'D)
          Does this mean I win?

INT. SCIENCE CLASS -- CONTINUOUS

Everyone's still there. Duh. Close ups on all the characters, 
down the line.

       PROFESSOR INATION
          So folks, that means that 20 percent 
          of your final grade will be determined 
          by this single exam.

       NICOLE
          Oh no!

       VAL
(gasps)             *

       JACKSON
          Shit.

       MIDUS
(not reacting)
          Oh... Yeah.
(high pitch gasp)

----------------------------------------------------------
             6.


INT. ENGLISH CLASS -- LATER

ELLIOT A. RACEY is there, as are the class. Bell rings.

       ELLIOT A. RACEY
          As you are all probably aware by 
          now, we are rapidly approaching 
          finals, which occur in a week.

       NICOLE
          Oh no!

       VAL
(gasps)             *

       JACKSON
          Shit.

On MIDUS, who's sleeping with a soft snore. Jackson pokes 
him with a stick, which Midus swats away. Jackson does it 
two more times, and that's when Midus wakes up, a bit 
dishelved, throwing his hands around.

       MIDUS
          There's too much taffy!

He looks around, realizing where he is. Really milk his 
shifting eyes, and then end with a sigh. 

        END OF ACT ONE
 
----------------------------------------------------------
             7.


           ACT TWO

INT. VAL'S ROOM -- EVENING

VAL is studying quite hard. She gets jarred as the phone 
rings, and knocks her glass of milk on the ground. Shattering 
it. A man appears wearing a milk moustache.

       RANDOM MAN
          Got milk!?

       VAL
          I do now!

She kicks him and takes the milk.

       VAL (CONT'D)
          Hey! This is empty!

       RANDOM MAN
          I did ask for some milk just there, 
          what made you think I had any?

She answers the phone. MIDUS is on the other line.

       VAL
          Make it quick. I've got spillage.

       MIDUS
          Spillage of what?

       VAL
          What, are you writing a book about 
          it.

       MIDUS
          Maybe. Know any publishers that are 
          interested?
(pause)
          What's up beyond the spillage.

       VAL
          I'm studying. Who's this?

       MIDUS
          Midus.

       VAL
          No. Really? Who is this. Jackson, 
          are you playing some pratically joke.

       MIDUS
          Yes. I am. But since it's pratically 
          been done to death, you're quick to 
          catch on.

       VAL
          It IS you Midus! How are you?

----------------------------------------------------------
             8.


       MIDUS
          Just bored outta my mind. Wanna kill 
          some time. You interested?

       VAL
          Uhmmm... You do know we have finals 
          soon. I mean, I would, if not...

       MIDUS
          Yeah, I know.

       VAL
          Why don't you study for them too?

       MIDUS
          I've found out over the years that 
          for everything new I stick in my 
          head, something old is lost. Like 
          Kelly in Married with Children.

       VAL
          Or Homer in his wine drinking class.

       MIDUS
          Exactly. So, I'm just gonna go wing 
          it.

       VAL
          This isn't something you can wing! 
          It's not like politics with their 
          left and their right!

       MIDUS
          But I bet there's still a red button 
          I can press.

       VAL
          Yes. And it says the word "fail" on 
          it.

       MIDUS
          I bet you think the glass is always 
          half-empty.

       VAL
          No. The glass is shattered and 
          stabbing my feet.

EXT. PLAYGROUND -- EVENING

JACKSON is running around like a maniac. Eddie Cheno is there, 
smoking a hand rolled "cigarette."

       JACKSON
          Finals! I've got finals! They could 
          kill me! Kill me dead!

----------------------------------------------------------
             9.


       EDDIE CHENO
          Der be a killage dat dun be killin' 
          you mang?

       JACKSON
          ... Funk you Cheno.

       EDDIE CHENO
          Woah mang, ya gotsa chill da funk 
          out biznitch.

       JACKSON
          Yeah... you're probably right. Just 
          look how crazy I am, and I haven't 
          even taken any of this acid you sold 
          me yet.

Holds up a bottle of chemical acid.

       JACKSON (CONT'D)
          I heard this stuff totally funks you 
          up.

INT. VAL'S ROOM -- CONTINUOUS

Same as before.

       VAL
          So, why aren't you calling Jackson 
          instead of me. He'd be more likely 
          to blow off his studies than me.

       MIDUS
          I can't deal with that guy anymore. 
          He's too much of an idiot.

INT. VIDEO STORE -- EVENING

JACKSON is browsing movies. He grabs one.

       JACKSON
          A Steven Segal film I HAVEN'T seen? 
          This is the best night of my life! 
          If only I had some sex...

Looks over to his side, and sees the XXX side of the video 
store. He creeps over, and gets stopped by a large man.

EXT. VIDEO STORE -- CONTINUOUS

JACKSON is thrown through the door, and lands on his ass.

       JACKSON
          I believe I had some entertainment!

The Bouncer walks out, and throws him his video.

----------------------------------------------------------
            10.


       BOUNCER
          Don't ever come back here... except 
          in three days when that's due back 
          here. But after that's due back here, 
          you better never come back here again.

EXT. STREETS -- AFTERNOON

JACKSON is standing next to a crying child who's holding his 
knee in pain.

       JACKSON
          Kid? Why are you crying? Is it cuz I 
          stole your candy or because I tripped 
          you to do it?

EXT. BACKYARD -- AFTERNOON

JACKSON is climbing a tree. MIDUS is below.

       JACKSON
          I told you I could do it!

       MIDUS
          Okay. Climb down and I'll give you 
          your dollar.

Jackson looks down, and gets frightened.

       JACKSON
          Can't. Scared of heights!

Jackson turns away from Midus, and propped in the tree is a 
puppet. Jackson freaks, flailing his arms and falls, smacking 
branches as he falls to the ground in a bloody mess. Midus 
looks down and smiles, before dropping his dollar onto the 
prone body of Jackson.

       MIDUS
          Worth every penny.

Midus walks away. Jackson weakly raises his hand.

       JACKSON
(meekly)
          Medic?

He falls. Face first with a thud.

INT. VAL'S ROOM -- EVENING

Val is there, duh.

       VAL
          How much of that actually happened?

       MIDUS
          I think he really likes Segal.

----------------------------------------------------------
            11.


       VAL
          ... Sinister.

       MIDUS
          Heh. I wonder if friends in high 
          school called him Seagul.

       VAL
          I really doubt it.

INT. SCHOOL GYM -- NIGHT

Steven Segal is there for a high school reunion. He pins on 
his name tag and walks up to a group of people.

       STEVEN SEGAL
          Hey guys!

       MAN
          Hey! Is that... It's Seagul! How you 
          doing fat chin? 

Segal runs around crying into the palm of his hands. 

INT. VAL'S ROOM -- CONTINUOUS

Val is there, duh.

       VAL
          I should...

       MIDUS
          Really study. I totally understand. 
          In fact, there's one last person 
          I've yet to call. Save the biggest 
          risk with the biggest reward for 
          last.

       VAL
          ... see ya.

Val hangs up the phone. Not a second later, the phone rings 
again. Val sighs, and picks it up.

       JACKSON
          Oh God! Ho God! These finals! I'm so 
          worried!

       VAL
          Jackson, right? Well, then why not 
          study? Like I am.

       JACKSON
          Study huh?
(pause)
          How come I didn't think of that.

----------------------------------------------------------
            12.


INT. NICOLE'S ROOM -- CONTINUOUS

Phone call for NICOLE. MIDUS on the other end.

       MIDUS
          Hey Nicole. It's Midus. You bored?

       NICOLE
          Am I ever. Let's mini-golf.

       MIDUS
          You seem way too up. Did you take 
          anything?

       NICOLE
          Only what the leprachaun told me to. 
          Let's go! 

       MIDUS
          Just... you and me?

       NICOLE
          Well... no. Laura and Alicia are 
          coming along too.

       MIDUS
          Oh...
(doesn't let on)
          That should be fun.

EXT. MINI-GOLF -- EVENING

NICOLE, LAURA, ALICIA, and MIDUS all get out of a car. Midus 
holds the seat forward for Nicole, and then slams the car 
door shut. They exchange a glance.

       MIDUS
          Well, don't I feel like a prime 
          number.

       NICOLE
          What do you mean?

       MIDUS
          Well, I'm the only one. And well, 
          prime numbers, nothing can go into 
          them. They're all alone.

       NICOLE
          Well, two's a prime number. That's 
          how many people are in a couple. Are 
          they alone?

       MIDUS
          ... Sometimes. Sometimes always.
(slight laugh, looks 
at her)
          Sometimes never.

----------------------------------------------------------
            13.


       LAURA
          Hey, I can here to avoid math.

       MIDUS
          We don't even have math this semester.

INT. VAL'S ROOM -- CONTINUOUS

VAL is sitting on a heap of books, as JACKSON still talks.

       JACKSON
          I'm going to be one of those guys, 
          living in a van.

       VAL
          Down by the river?

       JACKSON
          I'm gonna be a hippie! You know how 
          much I hate hippies!

       VAL
          No. That's Cartman.

       JACKSON
          Don't you know I base my politic 
          ideals on smart ass television cartoon 
          characters?

       VAL
          My mistake.

       JACKSON
          Darn tooting.

Awkward pause.

       JACKSON (CONT'D)
          I'll forget I said that if you forget 
          it.

       VAL
          That'd be a deal if it wasn't so 
          embarassing for you. 

       JACKSON
          You do realize I'm never going to 
          hang up the phone now.

       VAL
          You weren't going to before this.

       JACKSON
          You're a WITCH! You knew what I was 
          going to do before I do it! Get the 
          sticks! We're having a fire building 
          contest with you as the main log!

----------------------------------------------------------
            14.


Pause.

       VAL
          ... who are you talking to?

       JACKSON
          ... I guess... God? STRIKE HER DOWN 
          GOD!

Nothing happens.

       JACKSON (CONT'D)
          Oh come on God! I took your ugly 
          step sister to the ball and she DIDN'T 
          turn into a gorgous beauty at the 
          end of the night! I think I deserve 
          my debt repaid.
(pause)
          You know, I just thought of how 
          Cinderella became a beautiful princess 
          and disappeared before the end of 
          the night.

       VAL
          These's are always amusing.

       JACKSON
          Well, the prince got so drunk that 
          he saw a beautiful girl when the 
          shrew came into the ball, but then 
          got sober as the night wore on, and 
          she left before he could see her 
          true face.

       VAL
          Then how do you explain the him 
          knocking door to door and falling in 
          love with her?

       JACKSON
          Hollywood trite.

       VAL
          Ah.
(pause)
          Is everything with a happy ending 
          Hollywood trite?

       JACKSON
          Hell, some of the bad endings are 
          still trite. They're just awesome 
          because the bad guy wins.

       VAL
          Remind the army to never draft you.

        END OF ACT TWO
 
----------------------------------------------------------
            15.


          ACT THREE

EXT. MINI-GOLF -- CONTINUOUS

MIDUS takes a swing. The ball goes flying. NICOLE, LAURA, 
and ALICIA are there.

       MIDUS
          So, everyone's all "RUAHH! Lately 
          about these tests coming up, and I'm 
          all calm as a bubble. Until they 
          start poking me with a stick.

       LAURA
          How are bubbles calm.

       NICOLE
          Midus, we aren't playing golf.

       MIDUS
          Are you sure? I'm fairly certain we 
          are. I mean, golf club, golf ball
(looks)
          Somewhere over there.... 18 holes? 
          I'd consider this golf.

       NICOLE
          I just mean, don't hit it so hard. 
          You gotta be gentle.

       MIDUS
          It's my first time.

He goes off to get his ball. Alicia lines up to take her 
shot.

INT. VAL'S ROOM -- CONTINUOUS

VAL is near asleep, still on the phone.

       JACKSON
          So, I'm saying pringles have to have 
          some sort of nicotine in them. Cuz 
          there's gotta be a reason you can't 
          stop once you pop.

Val's head slumps down and it smacks against the table. She 
drops the phone, awakens in a mass of confusion.

       JACKSON (CONT'D)
          What the hell was that?

       VAL
          ... my embarasing moment.

----------------------------------------------------------
            16.


EXT. MINI-GOLF -- CONTINUOUS

LAURA is shooting. MIDUS, NICOLE, and ALICIA are off to the 
side.

       ALICIA
          Are you two still friends with that 
          Jackson kid?

       MIDUS
          Till the day I die it seems.

       ALICIA
          I don't know how you can stand him. 
          Tell you the truth, I never liked 
          him.

       MIDUS
          They why did you go out with him!

       ALICIA
          He had guts. He had fortitude. But 
          then I find out his guts came from 
          being and ass and not caring about 
          anything he did.

       MIDUS
          So, you didn't like him, but you 
          went out with him anyway?

       ALICIA
          It's all about confidence Midus. 
          Take that to the grave with you.

       MIDUS
          I surely hope I'm not dying anytime 
          soon.

       ALICIA
          Keep hanging around Jackson and you 
          may.

Laura swings. The ball richotes off in the distance. A man 
cries out in pain. It's LINK.

       LINK
          Oh God! My Spleen!

       MIDUS
(yelling)
          Don't you have any other body parts?!?

INT. VAL'S ROOM -- CONTINUOUS

VAL is still on the phone. She slams the book shut.

----------------------------------------------------------
            17.


       JACKSON
          Oh. Did I tell you about the time I 
          found Jesus? Yeah. I found Jesus. 
          And he's in Minneapolis!

       VAL
          I forgot. I have the power to end 
          this.

       JACKSON
          No Wait! You don't wa-

She cuts him off by ending the call. She smiles, and goes 
back to her work.

EXT. MINI-GOLF -- CONTINUOUS

MIDUS and LAURA are off to the side, while NICOLE goes to 
shoot. ALICIA is trying to show her how, but she keeps shying 
off of her. Midus and Laura are both enjoying a cigarette.

       LAURA
          How's the unhealthy life treating 
          you?

       MIDUS
          What? The cigarettes? Just fine. I 
          grow them in my backyard, roll them 
          up. It's a cheap addiction.

       LAURA
          Then why do they say "Parliament" on 
          them?

       MIDUS
          I get bored. I'm quite creative.

Nicole swings, hits the ball really hard as Alicia has been 
distracting her. It hits off an obstacle and richoets back 
into Alicia's face.

       LAURA
          Do people get to go out on the town 
          and NOT get hurt?

       MIDUS
          Not while I'm around.

Nicole walks up, while Laura goes to take her shot.

       NICOLE
          Everything you expected this to be?

       MIDUS
          And more.
(looks at Alicia)
          So much more.

----------------------------------------------------------
            18.


BONEKING is playing Mini-Golf, when KENT, LILLIAN, and MAGUS 
appear, attacking him.

       BONEKING
          What are you doing?! Boneking only 
          want to play this smaller form of 
          Golf!

They attack in the background. Midus leans in close on Nicole, 
almost hovering over her shoulder.

       NICOLE
          I'm having fun... I'm really enjoying 
          myself. I don't want things to change.

The look on Midus' face says it all, as he takes a few steps 
back, but the "camera" stays fixed as it was, as close as it 
was when it showed Midus and Nicole together. He just looks 
down.

INT. SCIENCE CLASS -- MORNING

PROFESSOR INATION is teaching.

       PROFESSOR INATION
          Before I hand out these finals, I 
          want to tell you all that I enjoyed 
          my time teaching you.

JOEY MALONE raises his hand.

       JOEY MALONE
          Even me?

       PROFESSOR INATION
          No. Not you.

       EDDIE SCOTT POSER
          What about me?

       PROFESSOR INATION
          Alright! I lied. You're all quite 
          annoying! Please take the test in 
          silence.

He hands out the test. LUCY SCOTT raises her hand.

       LUCY SCOTT
          Am I annoying Prof?

       PROFESSOR INATION
          That's not silence! Although I'll 
          let you slide on account of the boobs.

Images of the kids taking their test. We'll get to everyone. 
NOAH HAWKINS sits there, arms cross, refusing to test. JOEY 
MALONE is talking to a magic Genie that he created out of 
the air.

----------------------------------------------------------
            19.


JACK HARMEN and TONY DAVIS instead decide to throw both nads 
and snow at each other. JACK BREAKER has his large fish, 
which has notes on it so he can cheat. Laura Townsend is 
listening to headphones, test completed. DOUG SANDERS draws 
boobs onto his paper, while JOHN SANDERS makes his test into 
a paper airplane. SARAH JONES is hard at work, LINK is playing 
on his GBA, EDDIE CHENO AND SCOTT are smoking up in the back 
of the room. AMY TOWNSEND gets abducted by XAHEID and XELIAN. 
LUCY SCOTT is just looking down at her clevage. MAGUS, KENT, 
and LILLIAN are absent, as usual. JAKE WALKER is playing 
with action figures with AUBREY. VAL is frantically answering 
questions, while NICOLE frets. JACKSON stares, completely 
wide eyed at what is in front of him. He's in shock, 
basically. And MIDUS completes his test booklet, closing it 
to have the "film" turn to black.

EXT. SCHOOL YARD -- AFTERNOON

MIDUS, NICOLE, JACKSON, and VAL leave the school building. 
MIDUS turns around, walking backwards, taking one last look 
at the school.

       VAL
          What did you get for answer 25?

       JACKSON
          ... C?

       VAL
          What about 39?

       JACKSON
          C.

       VAL
          Is there any answer you didn't get C 
          on?

       JACKSON
          69. I got an A for that.

He snickers. Midus and Jackson high five.

       VAL
          ... The test stopped at fifty.

They just give her a look of "are you serious."

       NICOLE
          Can you believe? We're halfway done 
          with our Freshman year.

       MIDUS
          One eighth completed. Who knows what's 
          still ahead.

----------------------------------------------------------
            20.


       JACKSON
          I don't know what's ahead, but I do 
          know one thing.

       MIDUS
          What's that?

       JACKSON
          ... Oh crap. I forgot the one thing 
          I know!

       MIDUS
          Just take it in. We're officially 
          high school students.

       JACKSON
          As we have been for a while.

       MIDUS
          But I've never felt like it... This 
          block scheduling, it's like we 
          completed a year of classes... because 
          we did. A year of Health, Science, 
          English, all down the drain...
(smiles)
          I just can't help but feel good about 
          it all.

       VAL
          You just took a super hard test, and 
          you're happy?

       MIDUS
          Well... let's just say we're one 
          step closer to tripping and falling 
          on our faces in the real world.

       JACKSON
          I'd drink to that!

He raises his imaginary glass.

       JACKSON (CONT'D)
          You know. If we had beer...
(pause)
          Can we get beer?

       MIDUS
          I doubt it.

       JACKSON
          Damn American Government.

Pause. They continue walking.

       JACKSON (CONT'D)
          I'm so getting a Junior to take me 
          to Prom.

----------------------------------------------------------
            21.


       NICOLE
          You do know that you have to spend a 
          lot of money to go to prom.

       MIDUS
          Unless you're boyfriend's going to 
          pay for it.

       JACKSON
          Die.

       MIDUS
          I'd rather not.

       JACKSON
          Sorry. That was the anger talking.

       END OF ACT THREE

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
            22.


         CREDITS FOUR
----------------------------------------------------------
Over the Credits

JACKSON stands there. A guy tries to erase him with a pencil.

       JACKSON (CONT'D)
          HA! You can't do SHIZNIT to me! I'm 
          drawn in pen!

White out appears.

       JACKSON (CONT'D)
          OH GOD! I'M ALREADY TOO PALE!

He gets dumped on. Pan out to reveal MIDUS at the drawing 
board, with a carrot. He takes a bite.

       MIDUS
          Mmmmmm! Good eye sight!