Generation LMNOP : Episode 2x03(14) : Great Lakes Diner
Completed December 25th, 2004
TEASER
EXT. MIDUS' HOME -- MORNING
MIDUS walks out of his house and joins JACKSON in stride.
MIDUS
So, you're still with Laura?
JACKSON
Amazingly.
There's a long awkward pause.
MIDUS
You ever notice that you draw more
with pencils, and write more with
pens?
JACKSON
What does that have to do with
anything?
MIDUS
I dunno. It's just an observation.
JACKSON
Thumbs up, all around.
MIDUS
Don't Siskel and Ebert this.
END OF TEASER
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2.
ACT ONE
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAYS -- MORNING
MIDUS is at his locker as VAL is at his side. She is playing
with her hair slightly.
MIDUS
I mean, I don't know how he does it.
I really don't. He's like, he's
like a cardboard figure, you know.
He's got this side, this confidence
and air about him that gives him
this power, and it's the only side
they ever see. They never see him 3-
d man, they never do. And he prays
off their optimism. He's a fucking
predator.
(pause-change in tone)
I coulda had her... I think.
(nods)
I think.
VAL is unsure of what to say. That's when they pass a hallway
where JACKSON and LAURA are talking in the background. Focus
shifts to them, with MIDUS/VAL unaware.
LAURA
I had a great time last night.
JACKSON
As did I. I can't wait till tonight.
Eleven PM curfew rules.
LAURA
They do. As does this movie I've
been hearing good things about.
JACKSON
Nothing else moving compares to you.
JACKSON hugs her, and sees a girl behind her that looks quite
enticing. He follows her as she walks behind, and when LAURA
pulls away, he resumes his regular position.
LAURA
I was thinking of inviting someone
else to our date?
JACKSON
Oh, threesome. That's cool. I'm
game.
LAURA
No. Midus and Nicole. I know he
likes her.
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3.
JACKSON
Who doesn't.
LAURA
Why did you think I wanted a
threesome?
JACKSON
No reason.
NICOLE is walking with DENKO, the film student. They enter
and take focus.
NICOLE
So they recorded all of the sound
later?
DENKO
Yeah. It's amazingly constructed,
each and every noise is meticulously
placed in. Every sound has a meaning,
has a value. You know, there hasn't
been any worthwhile sound in film in
decades. I mean, you hear that
whistling, you know the one,
(mimics G/B/U Theme)
Before a gun fight and you know it's
the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
NICOLE
(not understanding)
Oh yeah. Of course. Of course.
DENKO
I mean, it's not something hard to
do. And if I know this and they
don't, what's stopping me from doing
this? Honestly? What is stopping
me?
NICOLE
I have no idea.
In the background, DOUG O'HARA and JOHN SANDERS walk by.
DOUG O'HARA
Maybe the fact that you're a tool?
JOHN SANDERS
Ha. Tool. Tool-tool, tool-tool-
tool-tool, tool, tool-tool-tool.
They see KATE YOUNG and TAMMY HARMEN parting ways with a
kiss on the cheek.
DOUG O'HARA
Did those two girls just kiss?
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4.
JOHN SANDERS
I think it was on the cheek.
DOUG O'HARA
Damn.
Focus on TAMMY HARMEN as EDDIE SCOTT POSER walks up to her.
EDDIE SCOTT POSER
Hi. Tammy. Are you available to
donate to my country's new socially
helpful but politically orientated
charity work, teaching orphans how
to dance under the FESP Fund. That's
F.E.S.P.
TAMMY HARMEN
What does that stand for?
EDDIE SCOTT POSER
FUCK Eddie Scott Poser.
TAMMY's jaw is slacked. We catch MIDUS and VAL walking the
halls, coming back to the beginning.
MIDUS
But that's not what's bothering me.
VAL
Is it the lack of oxygen from your
ranting?
MIDUS
That may be it.
VAL
You should really quit the smoking.
MIDUS
Yeah, but that's exactly the reason
I'm not.
NICOLE and DENKO walk up to MIDUS and VAL.
MIDUS (CONT'D)
Hey Nicole.
NICOLE
Midus!
They briefly hug, which Midus tilts his head at.
NICOLE (CONT'D)
Val.
Val waves in reply. No more than waist high though.
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5.
NICOLE (CONT'D)
This is Denko. Denko, this is Midus
and Val.
DENKO
I think I remember you from somewhere?
MIDUS
I don't know where. I mean, beyond
the school hallways we're currently
standing in. We coulda met there.
Or you know, this vicinity here. Or
maybe we coulda met really anywhere
in the town, it's not that large.
Anywhere, in maybe a five mile square
radius. You know, fence us all in,
and drive the fugitives out from
their hiding spot.
There's an awkward silence.
MIDUS (CONT'D)
I mean I think I called you a douche
before.
DENKO
At least you're honest about it.
MIDUS
In fact, I'm having a hard time not
just calling you a douche to your
face, so I'm going to have to walk
over there
(or maybe away)
Midus goes to speak up and shakes his head no, before walking
off screen.
INT. LUNCHROOM -- AFTERNOON
MIDUS, VAL, and NICOLE are eating lunch. JACKSON enters and
places his pasta on the table. It spontaneously combusts.
JACKSON
Huh. I didn't even think Pasta was
combustible.
MIDUS
It's not.
JACKSON
Then how!
MIDUS
That's what I was gonna ask!
LAURA joins the table now, sitting next to JACKSON. JACKSON
blows his pasta out, shrugs and starts eating it.
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6.
LAURA
Hey guys.
Jackson swallows.
JACKSON
I love that shirt on you. I like
what it does for your boobs. It
like... houses them.
Laura smiles briefly, taking it as a compliment.
New Table with NOAH HAWKINS, EDDIE SCOTT POSER, JOHN SANDERS,
DOUG O'HARA, AMY BENDER, MARK, and DENKO.
DENKO
So, it's this awesome fi-
NOAH HAWKINS
We don't care.
Awkward silence.
EDDIE SCOTT POSER
He's right you know.
JOHN SANDERS
I care! I do too! What do I care
about?
Doug O'Hara points off screen.
DOUG O'HARA
There's a windmill.
JOHN SANDERS
Awesome.
JOHN SANDERS races off screen.
DOUG O'HARA
I lied. There is no windmill.
EDDIE SCOTT POSER
Sly. You should be my attorney
general.
MARK
Is this some sort of ham sandwich?
Mark pokes his food.
AMY BENDER
I think it's pasta.
MARK
Really?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
7.
It lights on fire.
MARK (CONT'D)
You sure about that?
Cut back to the other table with MIDUS and such.
JACKSON
You know those girls that I never
remember their names?
MIDUS
Yeah?
JACKSON
What are their names?
MIDUS
Do you care?
JACKSON
No.
VAL
So, does anyone know about Great
Lakes Diner?
NICOLE
Oh yeah. I love it there. They
have this quesadilla, it's amazing.
MIDUS
You'd think an American restaurant
would specialize in American cuisine.
Jackson gets offended.
JACKSON
If you weren't my brother I'd hit
you.
MIDUS
But I'm not yo-
Jackson punches him.
END OF ACT ONE
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8.
ACT TWO
INT. BAND ROOM -- AFTERNOON
MIDUS and JACKSON are in the band room, conversing before
practice begins. It's an after school variety. VAL is there
as well, cleaning her clarinet.
JACKSON
So, it'll be fun.
MIDUS
Sure it will.
JACKSON
When have I ever steered you wrong?
Midus thinks.
INT. WALMART -- FLASHBACK
JACKSON tosses MIDUS a dvd.
JACKSON
Here, buy this.
It's Glitter. Midus screams and throws it away. It hits LINK.
MIDUS
IT BURNS!
LINK (O.S.)
Oh God! My Spleen!
INT. BAND ROOM -- CONTINUOUS
JACKSON and MIDUS.
JACKSON
(laughs)
I'm evil.
There's a long pause as VAL looks on.
JACKSON (CONT'D)
OH! I've got an idea.
MIDUS
This can't be good.
INT. MALL -- EVENING
NICOLE is browsing around clothes, as LAURA is there with
her.
LAURA
You think Jackson would like this?
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9.
She holds up a skirt to her body.
NICOLE
It looks good...
She seems a bit distant.
LAURA
You're not in the helping out mood,
are you?
NICOLE
No, I am.
(pause)
Not really. I just can't see the
value in Jackson.
LAURA
He's not a bond.
NICOLE
I'm surprised you can have one with
him.
LAURA
Have something that lasts for seven
years and gains interested?
NICOLE
No, I meant a bond. Like, an emotional
tie to him.
LAURA
Cuz high school relationships rarely
last seven years and come out sunny
side up?
NICOLE
They'res a bit of runnyness after
all that time.
LAURA
Jackson also dislikes when I eat
eggs. He starts screaming and going
nuts.
NICOLE
Is he scared of chickens like he's
scared of puppets?
LAURA
He's scared of puppets.
(thinks)
I can so use that.
(pause)
No, but he keeps yelling about how
I'm eating his brains.
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10.
INT. BAND ROOM -- CONTINUOUS
JACKSON is standing on top of a sled, reindeer in tow.
JACKSON
Now FLY!
He cracks the whip. Nothing happens.
JACKSON (CONT'D)
I wonder if there's some sort of
English to Reindeer translating
dictionary.
MIDUS
The internet has everything. I'd
start there.
JACKSON
Yeah, but then I just get distracted
by all the things on the internet.
MIDUS
By things?
JACKSON
Porn.
MIDUS
Why did I even ask.
JACKSON
How else are we going to mock the
internet?
MIDUS
We could just point and laugh.
JACKSON
That would have been easier.
BAND DIRECTOR
Okay, settle down, it's time to start
practice.
Val sees JACKSON cracking the whip some more times.
JACKSON
MUSH! MUSH!
Nothing happens.
JACKSON (CONT'D)
Ah screw it. Wanna go to Sev?
MIDUS
Like we were really gonna practice
anyway.
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11.
JACKSON hops off the sled and they walk away. VAL looks angry
in the background.
EXT. SCHOOL HALLWAYS -- CONTINUOUS
MIDUS and JACKSON walk outside. TONY DAVIS, JACK HARMEN, and
LIAM DENSON are talking.
LIAM DENSON
Doesn't matter. Aladdin is a DAMN
good movie.
JACK HARMEN
Tony and I have come to a comclusion.
LIAM DENSON
The ending?
He sniffles. And then he realizes what Jack just said.
LIAM DENSON (CONT'D)
Conclusion?
JACK HARMEN
You're homosexual.
INT. MALL -- CONTINUOUS
LAURA is paying for some shirts. NICOLE is there behind her.
LAURA
So, are you coming tonight?
NICOLE
I dunno.
Laura finishes paying it and then takes a shirt out of the
bag.
LAURA
You're coming, and you're wearing
this.
NICOLE laughs.
INT. 7-11 -- CONTINUOUS
MIDUS and JACKSON enter the store.
MIDUS
We're going to run a decathalon of
apathy.
JACKSON
Urgh. Fine. You pick the first event.
MIDUS
I really don't care...
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12.
They grab some snacks and pay.
JACKSON
So you should come tonight. It's
going to be awesome. We're gonna be
on fire!
MIDUS
Just you and Laura?
JACKSON
So far.
MIDUS
I dunno. Third wheel? I'm not a fan
of being a tricycle.
JACKSON
You're overanalyzing.
MIDUS
Which is weird. I don't usually think.
It hurts too much. I just know.
JACKSON
Know what?
MIDUS
Whatever I'm supposed to know in any
situation.
INT. DINER -- EVENING
MIDUS and JACKSON enter the diner. NICOLE and LAURA are there.
LAURA is wearing a skirt. NICOLE is shocked. MIDUS is shocked.
VAL, appearing as a waitress, is shocked as well.
JACKSON
I'll give you a dollar if you can
tell me you saw that coming.
MIDUS tries to say something, lets out a vowel sound, and
then just lowers his head slightly.
JACKSON (CONT'D)
Awesome! Free Dollar!
MIDUS is still shocked and contorts his face ever so slightly
as if to speak but unable to mutter any words.
END OF ACT TWO
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13.
ACT THREE
INT. DINER -- CONTINUOUS
MIDUS, VAL, and NICOLE are all a bit shocked.
JACKSON
Miss, we'll have our dri-
He notices it's Val. And he lets out a yelp.
JACKSON (CONT'D)
You are a chameleon!
MIDUS
Nicole?
(turns to Val)
Val?!
JACKSON raises his hands.
MIDUS (CONT'D)
(angerly)
Jackson...
He waves.
JACKSON
Whattya want best buddy?
He wraps his arm around MIDUS, who just gets angrier and
angrier.
JACKSON (CONT'D)
(to elseone)
We're best buddies.
LATER
JACKSON and LAURA have their arms around each other, as MIDUS
is browsing the menu.
VAL is behind them, looking on from behind the counter. There
is ANOTHER waitress there, SARAH JONES.
VAL
They didn't even invite me.
SARAH JONES
Welcome to my life.
She keeps cleaning and walks away from VAL, who was just
trying to reach someone. She slumps her shoulders.
MIDUS is still angry. He places the menu down.
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14.
MIDUS
(Angry)
You know what!
JACKSON
What?
MIDUS
I... don't know. I thought you did.
JACKSON
No, I don't.
MIDUS
Oh. Neither do I.
They shrug. MIDUS picks the menu up again.
LAURA
Tension. Knife. Mortal wound to my
comfortabililty.
NICOLE
They're always like this.
MIDUS
We're right here.
JACKSON
Yeah. We can hear you.
LAURA pulls out a bullhorn and blows it into JACKSON'S EAR.
LAURA
There.
JACKSON
I can still hear you.
(to Midus, whisper)
Yo, is she still making that long
honking sound?
MIDUS tries to answer but can't. VAL walks up.
VAL
Whatta it be?
She flips over her flip book.
NICOLE
Did they teach you how to talk like
that?
VAL
Oh yeah! It was part of the training.
It was so cool. And they paid for it
even!
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15.
NICOLE
Awesome. I wish I could be paid to
learn.
JACKSON
Can I just get paid?
They each give him a look.
JACKSON (CONT'D)
Bad timing.
MIDUS
Bad joke.
JACKSON
Now that's a lie!
(lowers his head in
shame)
You're right. I'll go to the corner.
He lowers his head in shame and walks away like Charlie Brown.
LATER
MIDUS, NICOLE, JACKSON, and LAURA are waiting for their order.
MIDUS and LAURA are smoking.
MIDUS
(sniffing)
It smells like silly puddy.
JACKSON
Or industrial sized glue!
MIDUS
You killed it.
JACKSON
You mean the smell? Cuz that's from
your cheap tar sticks of death.
Suddenly, something is thrown into JACKSON. It's a puppet of
Jack Nicholson. He shrieks in horror, as LAURA has her hand
up it's backside.
LAURA
(as puppet)
Heeeeeeeere's Johnny!
JACKSON cowers underneath the table. VAL walks up with a
basket of bread.
VAL
I'll come back later.
She leaves, as MIDUS just can't seem to look away from the
puppet.
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16.
MIDUS
Okay, that's just creepy.
LAURA
Don't tell me you have puppet phobia
too.
She pulls the puppet away and hides it underneath the desk.
MIDUS
Jack Nicholson is just creepy.
JACKSON
(meekly)
Is it.. gone yet?
MIDUS
(angry)
I mean, he did Something's Gotta
Give! Christ on a stick!
JACKSON
(under table)
Hey, you're legs aren't crossed.
Laura covers herself with her hands, but one of them still
has the puppet, so Jackson sees it and shrieks. He tries to
sit up, but smack his head against the table. He gets up,
and starts to rub his head.
JACKSON (CONT'D)
So worth it.
NICOLE
What's that red stuff coming from
your skull?
MIDUS raises his hand as he speaks, pointing to the sky.
MIDUS
(with glee)
INSPIRATION!
Midus begins to write down the scene on a napkin.
MIDUS (CONT'D)
(hardly containing
excitement)
This is the stuff SITCOMS are made
of!
JACKSON
(woosy, but
motivational)
Hey everyone! Let's get out of here
and go to the hospital
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17.
JACKSON looks around hopeful, and places his head on his
hand.
LAURA
What about cab fare?
JACKSON
... my treat.
JACKSON'S head immediately slips and falls forward, smacking
the table hard with a thud. Everyone stares for a moment, as
there's an awkward silence.
MIDUS
... Naaaaaaahhhhhh....
VAL re-enters the picture with food.
VAL
Uhmmm... security?
The two SECURITY GUARDS appear behind her.
VAL (CONT'D)
Can you clean this up?
SECURITY GUARD #1
We're not the red cross.
VAL
But you want to work, right?
SECURITY GUARD #2
Oh how the mighty have fallen.
The first guard gives him a look, as they start cleaning.
LATER
They're all eating their food. VAL is behind their table in
the background, sulking, as SARAH JONES is next to her.
VAL
How do you deal with it?
SARAH JONES
I make a game of being invisibile.
See how long I can last. Then I try
to break it.
VAL
That's pathetic.
SARAH JONES
I know...
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18.
VAL
It's just, ever since Laura and
Jackson got together all they've
cared about was finding another
couple.
SARAH JONES
Midus and Nicole?
VAL
They're trying to finagle them
together.
SARAH JONES
Is it working?
VAL
I don't know.
SARAH JONES
Does Nicole like Midus or something?
VAL stops for a second, realizing she's never asked her.
VAL
I... I don't know.
JACKSON raises his hand in the foreground.
JACKSON
Check please!
(to others)
I've always wanted to do that.
VAL walks up, and hands them a check, as JACKSON leaves.
MIDUS
When do you get off?
VAL
In an hour or so.
MIDUS
We should all meet up somewhere, you
think?
VAL
I dunno, I'm feeling the work.
JACKSON is talking to a large man wearing a wife beater.
He's the OWNER.
JACKSON
Hey, I just wanted to talk to you
about one of your waitress.
He points toward VAL.
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19.
OWNER
Yeah? What she do?
JACKSON
The service was a bit slow, but I
was complaining about this teradatcyle
egg she placed in my soup.
OWNER
She what?
JACKSON
I know. I mean, she had to have robbed
a museum to get it.
The owner stomps away.
JACKSON (CONT'D)
Man, hope he knows I was kidding.
LATER
MIDUS is paying for the meal, as VAL comes racing out of the
back. She's still in uniform, and heads for the door. MIDUS
grabs VAL's arm to stop her.
MIDUS
Woah, what happened?
VAL
They fired me! I'm fired!
She's in tears, and MIDUS lets go of her hand. She runs out
the door.
JACKSON
Draaaaaaaama Queen.
Everyone looks toward JACKSON, MIDUS with a glare, and LAURA
smacks him. MIDUS races after VAL
NICOLE
What did you do idiot.
JACKSON
Oh, you just expect me to be the
cause of this!
NICOLE
Yeah. Mostly because you are you,
but also because you just talked to
the owner not five minutes ago!
JACKSON
Oh... you saw that. Listen, I was
just trying to play a joke. I didn't
think he'd take me seriously.
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20.
LAURA
Can I get a ride?
NICOLE
Sure.
They leave, JACKSON is left behind.
JACKSON
Oh Come on! This isn't my fault!
(pause)
This is bullshit!
He smashes his hand down onto the counter top, which breaks
a plate. The Owner walks over, and he turns out his pockets,
empty.
INT. KITCHEN -- CONTINUOUS
JACKSON is washing dishes as the OWNER watches.
JACKSON
Listen, I know I have to pay for
breaking the dish, but could it be
less of a cliche?
INT. DINER -- CONTINUOUS
JACKSON is singing with another waitress to a birthday girl.
JACKSON
It's your birthday/and it's a happy
day/with presents, cake/ and the
Great Lake... DINER!
(to Owner)
Kill me now.
EXT. STREETS -- NIGHT
VAL is walking fast, as MIDUS is behind her, walking fast
but stopping in attempts to stop Val.
MIDUS
Wait! Val Wait! This isn't waiting!
She finally stops and he catches up to her.
MIDUS (CONT'D)
So you got first from a shitty diner.
I'd be happy. I wouldn't want to
work there the rest of my life anyway.
VAL
I didn't even want to work there in
the first place! But my parents...
and they're gonna kill me!
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21.
MIDUS
No. They're not. Unless they forget
to give you dinner while you're locked
in your room for the next two months.
VAL
(crying)
I didn't even do anything!
MIDUS hugs VAL, as she cries into his arms.
INT. VAL'S HOME -- NIGHT
VAL and MIDUS enter. JACKSON is talking to VAL'S parents in
another room.
JACKSON
She really was a great waitress. But
even so, I don't think she was...
really happy about working there.
You know? She's just always working,
always trying to better herself, and
she's stressed. And honestly, she's
better than I ever could be already.
She just needs some slack to enjoy
her youth... or she's gonna lose it.
He turns around, and sees VAL behind him.
JACKSON (CONT'D)
Oh, hey Val.
(remembers that she
musta heard what he
said)
Wow... you must walk slow for me to
beat you here.
Val whips away a tear.
VAL
Sorry Dad. Mom.
She goes to her parents, and they make noises of forgiveness
behind her. MIDUS walks up to JACKSON and they talk softly.
MIDUS
So, your fault?
JACKSON
Big time.
MIDUS
You think the universe is balanced
yet?
JACKSON
I had to sing. I sure hope it is.
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22.
END OF ACT THREE
Over the Credits
JACKSON (CONT'D)
You know, if I wasn't going out with
Laura, I coulda got with this girl
at the diner.
MIDUS
Really? Which girl?
JACKSON
The one that looked like she had low
self esteem. She was sitting by the
counter.
MIDUS nods in acknowledgement. Main Script Writer and Creater: Thomas Ford
Original Draft Doctor: Michael Renner
Revised Draft Doctor: Tim Kelly